Everything I Lost When My Hard Drive Crashed


Over the weekend the inevitable happened: my hard drive crashed. Given my unimpressive track record with technology, I really wasn't all that surprised--my first assumption was that I'd gotten a virus from too much reckless drunken web surfing--and, like every other person who's hard drive has crashed at some point, I'd been meaning to back everything up for about 2 years now. Now obviously I lost a good amount of things that are a pain in the ass not to have--all my school work, copies of articles I've written, bank account information--but I also lost parts of my life that can never be replaced. Back account routing numbers may come and go, but these things never will again:

Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging

I bought it on iTunes in high school and it is no longer in my iTunes. I don't want to talk about how many times I've seen it, it'll just make me more upset.

Screen Shot 2015-07-20 at 12.25.45 PM

My sound settings for incoming mail, texts, and things of that nature

I got distracted by playing 2 minutes of trumpet sounds until my roommate left my apartment and I was sick of listening to ringtones.

Every heinous picture I've taken that FaceBook wasn't prepared to see

So basically every picture I've ever taken.

My poorly put together resume

That took me about 2 years to perfect.

This picture that I photoshopped of a turtle holding the Mexican flag in space.


Fortunately my friend set it as his cover photo, so we're all good.

This picture that I photoshopped of my friend and I covered in cats.


Fortunately she set it as her cover photo, so we're all good with that, too.

My computer background


Imagine this picture, except instead of licking fish, I'm chucking deuces, and instead of fish, the background is a fat cat rolling in a pile of money. You can do great things with the Internet and Photo Booth.

Every thought I've ever had jotted down in my Notes

3 years of dumb ideas for a screenplay gone to waste.

All of my autosaved passwords

No, I don't remember the password for my twitter account that I set up in 2011. I especially don't remember the password I made for my spam AOL account that I created to troll people on Tinder.

My friend's autosaved Pinterest password

"CollegeLife" "Stud Muffins" "BasicallyItsFashion" and "Cows That Look Like Squares". One of those things is not like the other ones...