The 2015 MLB Butt Awards | American League Edition


Last night the rosters were released for the 2015 MLB All-Star Game. At this year's All-Star Game, live every year before it, we'll honor the 9 American League and 8 National League starters for making the first half of our national past time so great; but I want to honor what makes them so great: their asses.

Yes, it's a proven fact that baseball uniforms and baseball players have the best butts--proven by my personal preference and that's all that matters--so I'm going to celebrate those butts today, with the *now annual MLB Butt Awards.

The 2015 MLB Butt Awards: Brought to You by the Mothers and Fathers of the Bootylicious American League Starters

The Honorary Booty Wrangler Award- Manager Ned Yost

Division Series - Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim v Kansas City Royals - Game Three

We wouldn't be here today if not for the managerial efforts of this man.

The Nicki Minaj Fangirl Award- C Salvador Perez

He's still perfecting his form.

The Human Butt Lift Award- 1B Miguel Cabrera


The future of non-invasive cosmetic surgery.

The Get Low Award- 2B Jose Altuve

 Jose Altuve

Good things come in small packages.

 The Come From Behind Surprise Award- SS Alcides Escobar

No one predicted that would be there.

The Most Popular Booty Award- 3B Josh Donaldson

Looks like somebody will be showing up at their high school reunion after all.

The Slidin' Into Yo' DMs Award- OF Mike Trout

America thanks you for slidin' dat ass into those pants.

 The High School Musical Award- OF Lorenzo Cain

Soaring, flying, and breaking free... all at once.

The Stairstepper Infomercial Award- OF Alex Gordon

Alex Gordon

"For only 12 easy payments of $199.99 you'll get a machine so compact, you can't even see it!"

The Genetically Enhanced 'Ass 2.0' Award- DH Nelson Cruz

Is your ass a parking ticket? Because it's got 50 game PED suspension written all over it. *wink*

--Stay tuned tomorrow for the National League Edition--