To honor all of the majesticity and dadliness that is Bob Ade, my family celebrated yesterday but going out for a National Bob Ade Day brunch. Unfortunately they went to brunch in Miami, some 1,300 miles away from Ann Arbor, so I wasn't able to join. To make up for that, I thought I'd give my Dad some well overdue thank yous, except not really. I could thank you for all you've done for me that past 20 years, but I think it'd be more appropriate if I apologized to all the shit I did to you over the past 20 years. So...
Sorry for hating Star Wars and being as difficult and annoying as possible every time you, Mom, or Keenan made me watch it.
Sorry for getting us both food poisoning in Prague and making you sit in the hotel with me watching Czech game shows while Mom and Keenan went sight-seeing.
Sorry for eating all your gluten-free pretzels.
Sorry I forgot to get you a beautiful maize and blue hat so that you wouldn't be forced to wear this ugly one.
Sorry for only liking some of your cheesy Facebook statuses, and not all of them.
Sorry for refusing to eat the weird colored melon because it "tasted gross" even though it tasted exactly like normal melon.
Sorry for that one time I went to Ryan's house with Keenan even though we weren't allowed to go there, and sorry again for lying absolutely terribly when you andMom asked if we had gone there. I know we didn't actually go to CVS to get candy, you know we didn't go to CVS to get candy, and Mom knows we didn't go to CVS to get candy.
Sorry for all those times I woke you up because there was a lizard in my room and I didn't want to get it out myself.
Sorry for all those times I woke you up because I insisted on watching TV really loudly.
Sorry for trying kite surfing on your trainer kite once before giving up because it was hard. In my defense, Keenan set unrealistic expectations.
Sorry for hating the beach and refusing to go with you pretty much every time you asked.
Sorry for taking this picture even though you asked me not to. It's pretty sick though.
Sorry for hating taking pictures and making every picture we take together incredibly difficult and uncomfortable.
Sorry for the time I got us kicked off our car insurance because I caused a 20 mph 5 car pileup on the highway when I was 16.
Sorry for laughing in my head every time I see an old picture of you with an afro.
Sorry for having the same attitude towards half the things you or Mom suggest as I did towards this bag of apples.
Sorry for being the worst travel companion, especially when it comes to museums.
Sorry for that time I was having none of your physics scavenger hunt you made me and my friend do in middle school, even though you were super excited about it.
Sorry for being terrible at physics, and all science in general.
Sorry for not posting the obligatory sentimental Father's Day Facebook post with an old picture of us together.
Sorry for forgetting half the things that should be on this list.
Sorry for wishing you a happy Mother's Day yesterday.
Sorry for doing this a day late.