Have I mentioned my insane addiction to BuzzFeed before? I have? Okay good. In my defense, they say you need a good support system behind you to get over an addiction, and I have the opposite of that. See below.
Some addicts have friends who supply them drugs. I have a friend who supplies me with BuzzFeed articles. How is this related again? Oh right, here's how:
In true form, Ariel sent me a link this morning to a BuzzFeed quiz entitled "Can You Guess The 'Friends' Character From These Emojis?" I've attempted these types of quizzes before, but being as oblivious and useless as I am, I'm completely awful at them. Just really terrible. However, I thought this one had the potential to turn out differently. I've watched and rewatched all 10 seasons of Friends roughly ~5~ times in their entirety (and am currently rewatching season 1 right now). If there was ever an emoji quiz I might be remotely acceptable at, it would be this one. And since its been so long since I've done any sort of challenge, I figured why not get back into it with this?
After consulting with Ariel and determining that she got 1 wrong, I'll have to get at least 14/15 right to get the win.
First impression: I'll be incredibly disappointed in myself if I can't. Not angry, just disappointed.
Beach (swimming) + haircut = this one is clearly Bonnie. Also, can we just take a moment that BuzzFeed's way of saying "bald" was creepy smiling moon? Am I the only one that finds this hilarious? Bueller?
My answer: Bonnie (1 for 1)
This one took me roughly 2 seconds longer than the previous one, but I'm certain pretty instantly that this is Joey. The first four emojis make this one pretty obvious, but I have absolutely no idea why pants and a dragon are so important which is an incredibly thought. Two questions in and already feeling an immense amount of pressure. I may need to reconsider my priorities after this quiz.
My answer: Joey Tribbiani (2 for 2)
Let's just start this off with a "who the actual fuck are Kim Clozzi and Gavin Mitchell?!" Never mind them. I'm now feeling my first doubt that I'll be able to pass this challenge. Smoking is a pretty important part of both Chandler and Estelle. That's it. That's all I got. If that first emoji is supposed to be a phone book I don't know why that's super relevant to one or the other. Also when was a pencil or a dog ever remotely significant to either character? BuzzFeed, were we watching the same Friends?
My answer: skip and come back (still 2 for 2)
One of the first episodes I watched and actually paid attention to was the one where Phoebe dates the cop that shoots a bird for singing in the morning. As a small child with her innocence still semi-intact, asshole animal murderer cop will forever be ingrained in my mind. I can't remember his name off the top of my head, but Gary sounds a little more right than David.
My answer: Gary (3 for 3)
You think I would forget the time Phoebe got married outside in the fucking snow?? Oh BuzzFeed, you naive little minx. Although I will admit I did stare at the screen wondering what "nose cat" meant for a good two minutes.
My answer: Phoebe Buffay (4 for 4)
At this point I'm starting to feel extremely stressed out and unsure of my abilities to finish this quiz with dignity. I know for a fact the monkey can't refer to anything other than Marcel, and given the video camera, I'd say more specifically movie-star era Marcel. That narrows that down to Ross and JupClud Mc Doopitydoop (since I don't know who that Isabella bitch is). I vaguely remember JiggleCalves McDonald being in the movie with Marcel and taking one of the ladies on a date (maybe hence purse?), and I only remember his name because I didn't know who that guy with the complicated name was. Also, has anyone ever referred to Ross as "huge biceps?" No.
My answer: Jean-Claude Van Damme (5 for 5)
At first glance I had a mini panic attack because I assumed the "2" meant I would have to choose between the two Burke opthamologists. Luckily there was only one Burke answer available, and no other character to rival his mustache. I still don't know what the "2" means.
My answer: Dr. Richard Burke (6 for 6)
Excuse me? Is there supposed to be logic in this? Mindy married Barry the orthodontist and orthodontists are kinda medical, right? They totally wear those mask things... and tongues are in mouths? The two of them probably watch TV? I got nothing else to go on here.
My answer: Mindy Hunter-Farber (shamefully 6 for 7)
It was Erika... which, now that I look at it again and remember who Erika is, makes perfect sense (minus the last two). GOD DAMNIT MOLLY MUST YOU BE COMPLETELY USELESS?
Im sorry, wut. I know that Chandler once sat in a box. He also took a bath. But then Judy also made out with Jack while Monica hid in a bath... and Ross and Monica went through boxes of their old stuff at Judy's house so we've now eliminated no options. Someone explain to me this bunny rabbit please. Oh, and the soccer ball. And the bottle and the crying face and the shirt, too. Judy was sad at some point wasn't she? 10 years is a long time to never be sad... I'm putting this one on you Judy, don't make me regret it.
My answer: Judy Geller (6 for 8 and slowly deteriorating)
In some fucked up alternative universe this was supposed to mean Chandler Bing. Am I really that bad at picking up subtle hints or have I completely pushed from my memory every single important life moment of my favorite Friends character? I regret putting my faith in Judy.
Okay well now that we know Chandler's off the market there's only one person left.
My answer: Estelle Leonard (7 for 9)
Baby on a bus. Baby on a bus. Baby on a bus and the holiday armadillo. I don't really care that I don't know what that soup means because baby on a bus and the holiday armadillo.
My answer: Ben Geller (8 for 10)
Even if I knew who Will Colbert or Susie Moss were and they were both British, could they really be as important as important or as British as Emily? Also let's give a nod to the person who decided Rachel would go great next to Emily's name. You jokester, you!
My answer: Emily Waltham (9 for 11)
Oh Crap Bag, how you slay me still to this day.
My answer: Mike Hannigan (10 for 12)
I recognize all the names, so that's a start. Seriously though, what is this bee? I could probably solve this if I focus on any other emoji, but I keep going back to the bee. THE BEEEEEES! I've lost all patience for paying attention to anything at this point, so let's go with Pete. He proposed to Monica, so that makes sense. He also did extreme fighting; is that where the bee comes in?
My answer: Pete Becker (10 for 13)
It was Ross. Apparently I haven't been paying attention to any of the main characters in this show. I just want this day to be over.
This one gave me about a second of angered panic and confusion followed by many moments of laughter and relief. #TBT to Eddie and all his psychopathic unstable tendencies <3.
My answer: Eddie Meuek (11 for 14)
I'm done. I can't. Take me out, Coach. I'm reliving the bee incident all over again, except this time with the cookie. WHAT IS WITH THIS COOKIE? I don't know who or what Chip is, but he seems like an acceptable answer. I may just be thinking Chips Ahoy, but at this point that may be the most logical thought I'm capable of.
My answer: Chip Matthews (11 for 15)
Monica Geller. Why do I even bother?
I know lying is wrong and I originally said I wouldn't get angry, but I'm angry. And disappointed. I'd be a terrible mom. Even though 11 out of 15 would still earn me a C, 3 of the 4 I got wrong were one of the main characters. I failed half the friends. This deserves a loss.
Molly: 5 – Challenges: 4
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