I came across this challenge during my mass search of every Internet challenge that's ever existed. I can't find the original video that I watched, but pretty much all you need to know about it was that it featured a poorly-spoken Russian dude and a roll of paper towels. I also couldn't an actual written list of rules for the impossible challenge--everyone seemed to just explain the rules themselves in their videos--so I figured I would write one out myself, using only the original Russian version as a guideline.
Molly Ades Rules for Completing the Impossible Challenge and Erasing Any Shred of Peace or Happiness You Might Have Had In You
1. Secure a low quality camera. The more pixelated the video looks, the better.
2. Whip out your best Russian accent. No one should be able to tell that you're speaking English, or really be able to tell if you know how to speak English.
3. Holding the paper towel vertically, rip two strips down the paper towel, stopping about an inch above the end, like this:
(Homemade cheeseburger blanket not necessary, though it will add a little pop and flair to your life.)
4. Hold the paper towel by the ends of each strip. No matter how you hold it, you're probably doing it wrong, and the paper towel will probably be flopping around awkwardly in every direction. To the person who said that holding a piece of paper towel involved no skill: false.
5. Pulling only one strip, rip the paper towel so that each strip comes apart, leaving you in the end with 3 separate strips.
6. Yell in anger. You did it wrong.
Just watching the videos online made me angry so it's safe to say I was less than excited to start this challenge. I decided to video tape it because the challenge sounds a lot easier than it is until you watch it and see the pain and agony on the poor participants face.
I could just give myself the win considering i did technically beat the impossible, but what's the fun of a win if i can't give myself points? So without further adieu:
- Successfully completing the challenge: + 1 point
- Doing it in only 15 tries : + 1 point
- Spending the time to prepare 30 sheets of paper towel: - 1 point
- Paper towel ripping skills: - 1 point
- Okay cool but I still beat literally the impossible: + 1 point
- Cheeseburger blanket swag: + 5 points
Grand total: 6 points and a floor covered in mutilated paper towels. OMG 6 whole points??!?! That's a personal record! I mean there's really only one thing left to do now....
Molly: 2 - Challenges: 0
Someone really should be paying me for this...
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